Old Wives Tales, with Tina Fey

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Since I am in my last week of my pregnancy and I feel like a bloated Beluga Whale, I thought it would be fun to do a little comparison of those famous "old wives tales" we all know. Enough chit chat (Melissa you are typing and not discussing anything), let us get down to bidness.

Old Wives Tale #1: If you get morning sickness, the baby is a girl: LORD HAVE MERCY IS THAT TRUE FOR ME. Not one ounce of sickness with Jack. With Marin, my best friend was a toilet for almost 30 weeks. The day it ended was a happy day indeed. 
Old Wives Tale #2: It will be a girl if you crave sweets and a boy if you crave salty food. True for me! I have craved sugary cereals, ice cream, juice, fruit and Sour Patch Kids like you wouldn't believe. In fact, when I was able to stomach a whole bowl of Fruity Pebbles, I may have shown off my dance skills to Mr. Jon-O-thang (that is his hip hop name...mine is M Money.) When I was wild-with-child with Jack, all I wanted was anything salty and had pasta like errrry 4 minutes.
Old Wives Tale #3: If you're hormonal, it will be a girl. If you can get through a Kodak commercial without crying for 4 hours, it will be a boy. True for me! Don't even get me STARTED on the hormones. Thankfully I have only had one or two moody outbreaks. Most of the time I cry and cry at the littlest things. Heck, I cried like a wee child when Jack gave me a packet of grape jelly because "I'm the sweetest Mama ever"
Old Wives Tale #4: If you break out, it will be a girl. True. So true. I normally have awesome skin, but the first trimester, I looked like a slice of pepperoni pizza. Especially on my forehead and back (YUMMY) I wanted to wear a disguise and go by the name Heraldo it was that bad. Thank God for bangs.
Old Wives Tale #5: Soft skin if the baby is a girl, dry if it will be a boy. True for me! Don't karate chop me in the face, but I haven't had to use cocoa butter on my belly at all. With Jack, I lathered that lotion on three times a day so my skin wouldn't rip off. With Marin, I only use it to prevent stretch marks. No dry skin here! Boo ya!
So did the yee Old Wives tales ring true for you? This was only a handful (I want to take a nap) but for the most part, mine have been very accurate!


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